


"i had a bad dream again."

by fuckinglevi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, One Shot, slight angst, v smol levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 15:03:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinglevi/pseuds/fuckinglevi
Summary: He felt like he was underwater, like he didn’t know how to breathe.He reached out and put his hand on your shoulder. He didn’t have a reason to be ashamed of this anymore.





	"i had a bad dream again."

Levi’s eyes snapped wide open to be greeted with his moonlit bedroom. He sat up quickly, throwing the blanket off of his body. His shirt was stuck to him like a second skin, drenched in sweat. He sat on the edge of the bed, bare feet touching the cold wooden floor, and he felt a shiver travel up his spine. He rubbed his eyes trying to erase the terrifying images lingering in his mind from the dream, but they were all he could think about.

It had been two weeks since his squad had perished under his leadership. He sent them to their doom, he looked into their trusting eyes and gave them the command that would end their lives. He had reoccuring dreams of standing idly by as he watched each of his comrades being ripped to shreds, eaten alive by those monsters, and it all ended with the shrill scream of his favorite voice, begging him for help, cursing him for letting you die--Levi couldn’t handle it. The exaggerated nightmares would visit him every night, reminding him that he did nothing to save his friends. 

So, he turned his head and looked at you, finding you so peacefully asleep. You had barely escaped that massacre alive--and god, was he thankful. He tried catching his breath but he couldn’t, and he felt cold but he was sweating. He peeled his t-shirt off and threw it across the room.

Levi had been alone for much of his life. He taught himself how to deal with heartbreak and terror on his own, without needing the support of someone else. But the previous weeks events had proven that there was nothing he could do to make himself feel okay this time. 

Unabashedly, he reached out, and put his hand on your shoulder. He didn’t have a reason to be ashamed of this anymore--it was a nightly occurrence recently, and if the roles were switched, he wouldn’t want you to be afraid of asking him for help. 

He shook you softly, needing you to wake up--he felt like he was underwater, like he didn’t know how to breathe. You couldn’t tell from looking at him, though. When your eyes fluttered open you saw his bare back and tired eyes, and you immediately sat up when you heard his quiet voice. “I had a bad dream again,” he choked through staggered breaths. 

He tried to say more, but he couldn’t find his voice. Tears welled in his eyes, and he turned away from you to cover his face. He hated to cry, especially in front of anyone; he told himself it was a waste of time. It doesn’t do anything to solve a problem, it only made him feel weak. He was supposed to be strong--for himself, for you, and for all humanity, apparently. He couldn’t take it anymore, though. He wasn’t strong, nowhere near it. That’s what he kept telling himself.

You gave Levi his space, as you knew that when he wanted you to coddle him, he would let you know. You just sat up and situated yourself next to him, legs tucked underneath you, so he knew you were there. 

A loud cry racked his body, he leaned forward resting his arms on his knees. The dam had broken, for a moment, but that’s all it took for him to find some sense of composure. 

His breathing was still heavy, and tears were still trapped behind his lashes, but he found his voice. “You’re looking at humanity’s fucking strongest, Y/N.” Then, he laughed, a cold, menacing laugh that faded into another sob. His hand reached out to find you, and you understood what he was trying to do. With one hand, you grabbed his, and held it tightly. With the other you rubbed his back, trying to comfort him in any small way. You had never seen Levi like this, and you didn’t like it.

“It’s okay,” you whispered. You would tell him anything to get him to calm down, but you were drawn a blank. 

His breathing only got more uneven, and his grip on your hand had loosened. His chest was moving so quickly, he was barely breathing well enough to keep himself upright. You knew he needed to calm down, and he never would if he kept sitting there, thinking about the scenes of his nightmares. 

You needed to take some control for him, and be more direct than you had been before. If you weren’t, he would be there all night. “Levi, you have to calm down. If I lay down, will you lay with me?” You asked him instead of telling him, so he still felt in control, but you were going to get him to lay down even if he didn’t want to. Luckily, he nodded, so you laid on your back and guided him to you. He pressed his face into your neck, and you held him there. One hand in his hair, and one on his back. You exaggerated your breathing a bit, hoping he would follow you, and after a lot of sniffling and shaking, his breathing was back to normal. 

You kissed the side of his face, and spoke to him gently. “Even after seeing you like this, you are the strongest man I’ve ever known. I’m never afraid out there, do you know why?” Levi shook his head so softly that you barely noticed. “Because I know that if you’re with me, I’m always safe.” 

Levi took a deep breath. He so desperately wished he would have been there to save his beloved squad members. 

“But you can’t save everyone, Levi. You know that.” 

He did know--he knows he was having an irrational reaction, but he couldn’t help it. The sadness he felt combined with the horrific nightmares was enough to make even the strongest soldier break down like he had. 

“You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. We can talk about it in the morning, and try to help you with this. You’re okay.” 

He wasn’t sure if he believed you, but he had to lie to himself and tell himself that it was true. Inside these walls nothing was promised, and when you’re in the line of work Levi was in, nothing was ever truly okay. You just have to live one day at a time, and hope you’ll go to sleep with the ones you had woken up next to. 

You both held each other tighter, and Levi prayed he would never have to fall asleep without you.

☻

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is welcome.


End file.
